In Case You Didn't Believe Me (when I said things are not always perfect)

Today I sprayed sulfuric acid in my eye. How I managed to do this is another story, but I would like to point out that I wear glasses and I was still able to do this - without getting so much as a drop of acid on my glasses. (Does that look good on a resume?)

I ran into the house screaming, "It's in my eye! It's in my eye!" Ernie came running right behind me, grabbed the kitchen sink sprayer, turned the water on full blast (it felt like it), bent me backward into the sink and began blasting my eye - and everything close to it - with water. Within a few seconds I was yelling, "It's too cold! Turn it down! It's too cold!" (I am pretty sure my eye and face were already showing the first signs of frostbite.) Ernie tried to calm me with an emphatic "It doesn't matter! Hold still! We have to flush your eye for 5 minutes!"

Ernie had me in a headlock to restrict movement (he may not agree with that statement), so I began blindly groping around above my head with my free hand to locate the water faucet. My attempts did not go unnoticed and Ernie commanded, "Stop it! We have to do this! Leave it alone!!" I cried out over the top of his commands, "I can't do a backbend for this long! My back hurts! Turn down the water! My eye hurts! Everything hurts!!!"

"Mindy, hold still! We have to flush your eye for a full 5 minutes! Stop it!" At this point everything was at a very high peak of intensity. I did the very mature thing and - with all the passion I could muster - yelled out, "Shut up!!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!!" (I know, "shut up" doesn't even make sense in the "conversation", but I like to think I was delirious with pain at this point.)

Ernie released me and stomped off to find the number for poison control. (I am pretty sure his first thought was to release me and let me go blind.) I put my head back into the sink - face down - and began flushing my eye again. Ernie returned to tell me that I had to flush my eye for TWENTY MINUTES. And, if it was still burning after that, another ten minutes. Ernie set a timer.

Has anyone ever flushed their eye for twenty minutes? Well, let me tell you, it makes your eye burn. So...I began flushing for another ten.

I took a moment to try to look out of my eye. I could see, but it was like looking at everything through a very thick fog. At this point I began to panic. (And you thought I was panicked before...) Ernie called my optometrist and was told they needed to see me.

Let me comment on my appearance. I had been face-up in a headlock while water was sprayed at my face. I had then been face down while I sprayed water - without much attention to aim - up into my face. My hair was dripping. Any make-up I may have put on in the morning was long gone. My shirt was soaked. My right jean leg was wet down to the knee. My eye was red and swollen. I was not a pretty sight. We loaded the kids into the van and headed to the doctor.

I am home now. My eye is red and swollen and I still can't see very well (I am having to type this with one eye closed), but it is going to be fine. The optometrist said my entire eye is speckled with damaged tissue, but I am young (yes, he really said that) and likely the damage is superficial and will rejenerate nicely. He said that hopefully the damaged cells will not slough off because that will be extremely painful. (I didn't like the way he said that.) He said I would know if that happened because my eye would feel like it was being pierced with daggers. Not a very pleasant thought.

I have to go back to be re-examined tomorrow (I think I may need to go to the chiropractor, too), but for now...all is well. Not perfect, but well.

(And Ernie and I had a really good belly laugh about the whole thing - later.)